If you’ve ever experienced a moment of disconnection from your surroundings and the world around you, you’ll know just how powerful that disconnection can be. When you think of yourself as separate from the world, you’re not. When you don’t know how to connect with the world around you, you’re not.
The 3rd word in the above sentence is the one that really hits home. It’s the moment when you realize that you are not on the same plane as the rest of the world. When you feel lost and disconnected, you feel helpless. Not in the sense that you’ll never be able to fix anything or make anything right. You feel helpless in the same way you feel lost and disconnected on your own front porch.
The world is a very big place. You have to accept that. It is not a place where you can just run into people, or just do whatever you want, or just sit in the sand and say to yourself, “I’m ok. I’ll turn this off.
The problem is that most of my friends are so afraid of the world I am on (the only person I know is myself), I have to run away from it. So now I have to run away (and I mean go away). But I run away and I run away, I run away and I run away, I run away, I run away, I run away, I run away. I run away.
I run away and I run away and I run away, I run away, I run away, I run away, I run away, I run away, I run away, I run away, I run away, I run away, I run away, I run away. I run away.
If you’re like most people I know, you’ve probably been in this position before. If you’re like me, you’ve been in this position before and like most of us, you end up feeling really guilty, frustrated, and defeated. It’s like you have the world locked up in a vice of your own making and you can’t get it to break.
I run away from my past.
I like to think we are all like that. I have always been like that, but the more I think about it, the harder it seems. Maybe it is because I have been in and out of these situations before. Maybe it is something in my head, in my brain, that keeps me from breaking free from the cycle of self-loathing. The more I think about it, the more I feel like the whole thing is a lie. Maybe it is a myth.
The truth is that you don’t have to be trapped in a state of fear and helplessness to break free from it. You don’t have to be a virgin to be raped, raped repeatedly, and then left in a world in which you are unable to escape the fact that you have no power over what happens to you. You don’t have to be stuck in a bad habit to get out of it.
