When I first started writing the blog, I was asked a lot about what motivates me, and one of the things that really stuck out to me was how I felt when I was writing. I felt good. It felt like I was accomplishing something, and I could feel the energy that I was putting into writing flowing throughout my body.
Another thing that made me feel good was that I thought about writing in this way all the time. I couldn’t get away from the idea that I was creating something that was truly important. I loved that idea. I felt motivated by that. It wasn’t about what I could or couldn’t write about, or how much I could or could not write. Instead, I felt like I was creating something that was bigger than myself.
A couple years ago, my brother went fishing and had a conversation with a friend over dinner. We both found ourselves in a situation where we were going too far in the water, and so we decided to sit down and talk about something that was really affecting our life together.
We talked about the fact that our parents were both struggling with depression. We talked about the fact that my ex-brother-in-law had recently got married, and how it had been the same thing for him as having a child, and suddenly he wanted to know what were we going to do and how we were going to do it.
The thing is that depression, like all other mental illnesses, can affect our ability to function independently. It affects our memory. It affects our mood. It affects our ability to focus, and it can cause us to have flashbacks. In fact, one of my best friends is on medication for depression, and one of our roommates suffers from it. It’s a very real thing.
It makes perfect sense now that my friend mentioned that we don’t talk to each other for two weeks in a row due to this. But I did say to him last week that depression is a very real thing. I’m sure it is.
I was just going to say that, and now he says that it’s not good that I have depression. Like everyone else I know, my depression is much more serious than a lot of you. It’s a lot of the same things that depress you. You get caught up in a black hole of stress and depression. I’ve had depression for over twenty years. I’ve tried to get out of the black hole of depression before.
Its not just the depression, its the stress. Ive had depression for almost thirty years, and Ive never, ever felt this bad. Ive been able to get out of the black hole for a few years now though. But what does it mean when you feel this bad? Ive never had a feeling like that. Its not like a migraine, its not like a stomach ache.
The first time you were stressed for a long time, you’re always thinking about stuff that needs to be taken care of. You think about how you’ll do things once you’re done with the party. You think about what you can get out of it and how you will react to it. You can also get into the black hole of depression and mental health issues and that’s a good way to get out of it.
Yeah, I dont feel that way. But I do feel like I have things to do and I need to get them done and I want to get them done right.